Katmandu you are touching on a subject that I quite enjoy discussing, specifically the duality of our sexual and practical selves in modern life.

It sounds as if your practical self may be getting in the way of your sexual self as far as the fantasy fulfillment is concerned.

Let me suggest this course of action; discuss with your husband exactly what you want, and make sure he understands and is willing to go along. Next try a bit of roleplay, dress up in a manner you wouldn't normally- perhaps some haircolor or just a new hairstyle, and have your husband dress up someway that he might not normally. Instead of starting off at home try going to a bar or nightclub separately and have your husband "pick you up" at the bar and take you back to his place for a hot bit of anonymous sex- with no strings attached from your or his practical side. A hotel room would be an added bonus to this bit of roleplay and you can go as far as you like using different names or whatever else you might find that would help the experience be more immersive.

Let us know how things turn out.