Safewords and Safesigns

[master 327-834-200]

Safe, sane and consensual are our maxims in this life and no matter how experienced you are, or how gentle the play is safewords should be part of your negotiations before commencing any type of play. Special consideration should be made if you are to use any form of gag, blindfold or bondage.

May I also say how important safewords are for the Dominant as well as the slave. I personally would advise anyone who plays with a partner who says they do not use safewords to run a mile, or to at least insist and discuss the reasons why.

[jeanne]

Hi all,

After a long discussion about safewords with the one I submit to, I decided to search for a good thread discussing safewords and came across this one. There's some widely varying viewpoints here and I found each one interesting (and one or two downright scary).

Here are my thoughts - based on my conversations with him:

First, I must say that I've only used my safeword once - and it was on a writing task that was psychologically difficult for me - one that to anyone else would be "no big deal" - but for me, it was a big deal. And I couldn't do it. And he respected the safeword, just as he has promised to always do.

I believed that safewords were for me alone. A way to slow down or stop something that was too much. A protection for me against him. After several conversations about the topic, over several months, I now know better. Yes, the safeword is still a protection for me. But, ultimately, I believe (because he explained it to me) the safeword is for him. He trusts that I will use it if necessary (and only if necessary - not to "test" him). The safeword gives him ultimate freedom to use that which belongs to him (me) without fear of going too far. As a result, we both get to experience each other completely, without fear.

Another thing he has promised to me - not to push me too far, too hard, too quickly, just to see if I'll use the safeword. He considers that to be a breach of the bond between us.

Isn't he simply wonderful? (Yes, I'm gooey over him.)

jeanne