It sounds like you've gotten into an abusive relationship, rather than a healthy D/s one. One very important thing to remember is that consent must be given. If he isn't willing to agree to that, I would seriously reconsider this lifestyle with him. He sounds like he needs help controlling his anger - and you and your daughter should not be in the middle of it. You said you fear him - that is NOT what anyone here is about. Being a submissive is not the same as being being abused.

I know this isn't really the kind of advice you are loooking for - but it sounds like this is a much larger problem than D/s. Any adult should know that this sort of behavior, especially in front of a child, is unhealthy. I know this is drastic, but you should get out of there before he hurts someone. Get some professional help if you can.