Sadism

[csr]

The formula for a good dom would be in my opine

Sadisom+apathy+experiance=Dom

becouse sadisom with out apathy you get axe murderer

Okay...I'm going to go out on a limb here... did you mean empathy--not apathy? Cause an apathetic Dom/Domme does not strike me as too appealing, lol.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

It's possible to be a dominant without also being a sadist. Rules can just as easily be enforced through disciplinary actions like standing in a corner, writing lines, or enforced domestic servitude.

The inflicting of pain is not a requirement for dominance. It just seems like many dominants are conditioned to believe that there must be some element of pain involved.

[Katmandu]

Lucky for us pain sluts there are enough Doms who like to inflict it! :spankme:

[ProjectEuropa]

The inflicting of pain is not a requirement for dominance. It just seems like many dominants are conditioned to believe that there must be some element of pain involved.[/COLOR][/FONT]

I have to agree. The one thing that made me confront and accept I enjoyed the delicious delights of a touch of sadism was purely a mental thing.

[Donatien]

[QUOTE=BDSM_Tourguide][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=DarkRed]It's possible to be a dominant without also being a sadist. Rules can just as easily be enforced through disciplinary actions like standing in a corner, writing lines, or enforced domestic servitude.[quote]

I totally agree TG, although I believe psychologists have slightly muddied the waters by making a distinction between sexual sadism ( sexual arousal through inflicting pain) and authoritarian sadism ( sexual arousal through the abuse of power); the later definition one that my name sake ( De Sade) would have abhorred as he detested all forms of authoritarian abuse,believing strongly and ahead of his time in the rights of the individual.. Dominance, sadism, humiliation, degradation, all are best understood as separate parameters, that may however co-exist within an individual to varying degrees.

[Wontworry]

When I first came to this forum I didn't really have a word for what I was. Through reading what is here I soon realised that I was a 'dominant', and then as time progressed I also realised I had more than a little sadism in me. In fact, parts of what I do with lucy could only (I think) be described as hardcore sadism (burning her with a cigar or naked flame, whipping her with a chain, etc).

The sadism doesnt have to be just (thinks of the right word) .. dramatic(?) pain in that way. For instance, I just cannot resist playing with her nipples when they are already tender and swollen from whatever was done to them in a scene. So, after a scene when we are dressed, chatting or just watching tv, my hands continually move to her nipples to continue to give her pain for no reason other than my wish to see her wince and whimper. This won't lead to another scene (ok, I lie ... sometimes it does ) but is more just an expression of how much I cannot resist touching her and giving her pain.

However, I have also realised that unless she 'wants' pain then it does nothing for me, to the extent that I just have no wish to continue. I am not sure if that is true sadism - only wishing to give pain when the recipient is grateful to receive it somehow seems to not quite fit with the definition of 'sadism' that I have in my head.