My attraction to sadism

[allalone46]

You can't rewire yourself. You are already wired that way or your not. If you are alreay drown to it than you may already be there. But you can learn to be a safe sadist. And that is were you need to learn. Wpping and beating and lashing are thing but to do so for plesure both to give and recieve is an other.As a sadist it is a atomatic tendense to take a slave all theway. but for the plesure for both and that is to be for plesure you can't go al the way. You have to learn control and restraint. You have to always remember thatyou can go futher than her body can take. Her mind on the other hand may ant you to futher, but the slaves body and health are the limiting factor. You can never do anything that will permantly harm or damage your slave. Remember this is for pleaure not just sex.

[perpetrator]

Are there any other subs out there who feel this way?

hey, that's me on the spot.

The dom wouldn't be a sadist by any stretch of the imagination. But I will stand and argue that just because one isn't into giving pain doesn't mean they're any less dom. See above.

sloppy writing there, i meant domination in general, not just causing pain. not that big of a painslut myself.

[Misanthrope]

Wow Scandolous! I just finished reading your anal thread, and thought I'd check this out. Another thread close to my heart.

I agree that knowing the other person is enjoying wielding the crop/cat-o-nine, makes it better for me. But I would enjoy it even if they were just doing it because they knew I liked it. I am quite the pain-slut, a fact that certain people around here can attest to.

I am incredibly lucky. Sweet Tiger is willing to push me, but will hold back if I need her too, and after a scene, she is so tender and kind. And praise from her about how I did means the world to me. And, on the flip side, the punishments she chooses if I don't do well are pretty good too.

[Sweet Tiger]

Being mainly a Domme, more on the sadist side, I have to say that I enjoy causing people pain; it gives me this cheeky little smile and rush to do it - whether someone wanted me too or not However, when doing that in a relationship I would need to know that the other person also enjoys being caused pain, it increases my pleasure from it and stops me from feeling guilty (slightly selfish reason, but I'm not totally evil!) It's great to do things which you have both discussed and to hear them moan as you whip them or push them further, but it's also a great releif to know that if you do go too far that they are able to tell you to cool down or stop if you have gone too far. Sometimes the fact that they haven't told you to calm down or stop can push you further as well and everyone developes in the relationship.

As a switch I also like to be whipped or beaten on occasion and if this was been done by someone just because I asked them too and they got no pleasure from it (my Domme side apart, since it is another form of domination making someone do something there not totally comfortable with and pushing their limits) I would end up feeling guilty. However if someome was beating me solely because they got off on it and didn't really notice whether I was or not, firstly I don't think Iwould feel very safe and would avoid that kind of situation and secondly I would feel completely used.

OK not sure if that was of any use or made sense, but I hope my opinions helped a little bit!

[Sam'sJasmine]

I have thought of this a lot.

There is this part of me that wants to be completely controlled by his whims. To be commanded to crawl across a room, to be bent over, whipped, ordered not to make a sound, and don’t move. Sometimes for me it isn’t even about orgasms, its sexual, yes, but there is just that desire for him to let go and bring that evil side of himself out. I imagine his being only interested in satisfying his sadistic desire to use me, hurt me, and humiliate me.

He on the other hand wants me to beg to be beaten or fucked. He wants the pain slut. He gets very turned on when I am that wild slut, begging for more. He relaxes and doesn’t worry as much about where my head is, because he hears it in my moans and plea’s. I found that his desire is increased by my getting more turned on. I get many harder and longer whippings when I beg and moan.

When I am being quiet or “passive” he watches me much closer to make sure I am in the right space. So he lets his Dom/ Sadistic side out to play when he knows I am an active participant, but is more reserved when he isn’t sure where my head is.

The partner wielding the whip has to break many more of society's barriers to enjoy his kink than the partner getting the licks does. The subs verbalizing their desire, being a more active participant gives the Dom the feedback that allows them to continue on.

This is just how our relationship works, I am sure there are many out there that do things differently. I am just using our lives as an example. Some people don’t allow limits, or safewords. But IMO there needs to be a caring and concern for the other person's well-being and needs.