Orgasm Control- The In's and Out's

[Ozme52]

Oz - you said it was about 'the right dom... one who's paying attention'. That makes me think that the permission thing (or maybe at least during the training stage) is actually about the dom saying yes, when it is inevitable or necessary anyway - not quite sure what I'm thinking there - yes, the dom needs to know the sub well enough to know when she's going to get to that plateau, I suppose. Don't know - further detail on what you're paying attention to would be great?

==> Perhaps sometimes but I was referring more to the sub's personality and emotional needs. It's all too easy to treat submissives all the same. To have a "routine" that you put them all through. But that approach is callous.

Yes, I do have some ritual exercises... but "the dom who pays attention" is paying attention to the submissive's individual needs.

Knowing when to apply more pressure, when to back off. When to withhold (and yes for how long) and when to reward. Even knowing how much attention she requires to not be tempted to disobey.

Addressing another concern mentioned... I had a sub whose orgasms were very dear to her. It took her a long time to find her ability to have them. So when, after several play sessions during which I was training her responsiveness to me, my voice, my presence, she wrote me that she could no longer cum without me and had tried... tried several times in fact.

I could have sat back with a big grin on my face... but I also heard/read her dispair. So I called her and commanded her to be obedient and cum when ever I gave permission whether I was present or not. I didn't let her cum while I was on the phone. That would have reinforced the problem. Instead I gave her a whole day of unattended playtime... and she is again very able to please herself... and all the more mine for returning it to her.

The actual practice of it all - well, it doesn't happen just like that, no - not for me, anyway. I mean, some people may find they can cum on demand with no effort at all - I am no-where near that! Especially if previously much denied, like rach. You plateau, and getting yourself off that plateau can be hard.

An interesting observation moptop... All I can say is I continually hear that and continue to disprove it. Timing is crucial. A sense of the sub-ject's mental state and state of satisfaction is crucial. Once again... paying attention...

I'll tell you what thrills me. After a long play session... in the shower, washing up, I get soaped, rinsed, hair washed, conditioned. I turn, gaze into her eyes, lean in, shift my stance to "invade" her personal space (yes even in a shower you have personal space) and whisper in her ear. What thrills me? The shock in her eyes... the way her mouth ovals as she gasps "Oh!" as her body totally surprises her... cumming... and then I tell her I won't let her fall and her orgasm overwhelms her.

After that... my voice is in her head.

[Hime]

I'll tell you what thrills me. After a long play session... in the shower, washing up, I get soaped, rinsed, hair washed, conditioned. I turn, gaze into her eyes, lean in, shift my stance to "invade" her personal space (yes even in a shower you have personal space) and whisper in her ear. What thrills me? The shock in her eyes... the way her mouth ovals as she gasps "Oh!" as her body totally surprises her... cumming... and then I tell her I won't let her fall and her orgasm overwhelms her.

After that... my voice is in her head.

um, wow. I think when my husband gets home I'll suggest that we need a shower.

I would like to know more about the orgasm-on-demand aspect of this conversation, honestly. During sex we often play the "not until I tell you" game, and I can cum on demand because I've been needing to for a while already. But I've heard about people who can cum on a vocal cue or from non-direct stimulation (one guy swore he could make his gf climax by biting her shoulder, through the magic of conditioned responses). Is that something you can learn to do? What's the training process like?

[Hime]

And Euryleia, that was an awesome story excerpt. Very good writing.

[Euryleia]

And Euryleia, that was an awesome story excerpt. Very good writing.

Thank you. ~fights blush~ I'm glad you enjoyed it.