fighting back

[arwcuw]

Yes my wife & I used to do that a lot, & she's not really into D/s as such. We just saw it as 'rough sex'

Sure seems common from what I've seen.

I personally found it a bit frightening, how turned on she'd get- it's kind of weird because she's been a rape victim, & was abused as a child.

Tojo

That actually makes sense to me; as part of my journey of self-acceptance I've been doing a lot of research on the psychology of fetishes, and quite often masochism and sadism seem to result from abuse. The child learns to deal with the abuse by turning it into a turn-on. Obviously this isn't always the case, just a possible outcome.

(That didn't help me with the search for my own "root" so to speak, since there's no sign of abuse in my past.)

[MsUther]

That actually makes sense to me; as part of my journey of self-acceptance I've been doing a lot of research on the psychology of fetishes, and quite often masochism and sadism seem to result from abuse. The child learns to deal with the abuse by turning it into a turn-on. Obviously this isn't always the case, just a possible outcome.

(That didn't help me with the search for my own "root" so to speak, since there's no sign of abuse in my past.)

Thats one side of it. That the abused learns how to deal with the past by going over it again and again, now in controll over the actions themself, one way or the other.

Also, when abused at young age, thats often this persons first experience with sexual emotions. The way the body react isnt always controllable of moral and sociatys acceptance, and although its abuse, the body can react by being aroused. And your sexual preferences is in many ways linked to your first sexual experience. Be it negative or positive.

[Scorpio'sWill2Power]

Fighting back can enhance a relationship between D/s
if it's something both know the limitations of and have
established their own personal boundaries within the
relationship.

I've found knowing how far you go and what is or
isn't acceptable only comes through time shared
with that person.

How those boundaries are defined for each of us
comes a great deal from our personal life experiences
(our environment) as some here have already mentioned.

Sometimes both (or even one)
might need that little extra edge to things.
A way of releasing an accumulation of sexual energy that
being less forceful or demanding simply won't do at that
moment in time.

As in all things there's an element of risk involved but
hopefully we also try and maintain a sense of right and
wrong (a form of balance) and know how far is too far.

Sometimes you just crave a little wrestling, working
up a sweat as bodies glide against each other during
the tussle. Hair being pulled or twisted and wrists pinned
down as you either take or are taken.
A more animalistic role as beasts in the wild where it's
conquer/be conquered.

GULP-I'd best stop now and shift focus to something
a little more tame.