After my divorce to an abusive vanilla person (I still have problems using the term "man" to describe him), I was involved, briefly, with a friend with benefits (that is a story in and of itself). He suggested that I go online to meet people, mainly so that I wouldn't think that our "relationship" could go any further. He introduced me to the world of chat rooms. When I first went online I was like a kid in a candy store. I was cybering left and right and got involved in phone sex with strangers a couple of times. I was in the vanilla adult chat rooms and met a couple of men whom I considered actually meeting IRL. None of those worked out and it probably was a good thing in the long run.

After I kind of cooled my heels I starting looking around more online and found the BDSM websites and began to decide what I was interested in, lifestyle-wise. I then went into the BDSM-related chat rooms. My first Master was a switch and also bi. I tried to be really cool about it, thinking that I could handle this, despite the fact that he also had a stable full of subs (more female than male). I really liked him, but I simply could not be a Domme for him, no matter how hard I tried. I also didn't like the fact that his affections were scattered in so many directions and that he couldn't focus solely on me. I really wanted a Master who would want only me and figured that he was out there; I just needed to search for him a bit longer.

My next Master was Gorean and I was a white silk kajira for about a year and a half. I enjoyed my time in Gor, but I realized that I didn't have the energy to do this full-time. I felt that the lifestyle was too restrictive for my tastes. So I begged release from my Master and He granted it. I don't regret the time that I spent with Him, because He was a good man.

There were two other Doms after that, both of whom collared me with the velcro collar. With one of them our schedules had suddenly changed to where he could only be online during the day and I could be online at night. Instead of just letting me go he told me that he had a two week vacation at Thanksgiving and he would think of a solution. That turned out to be for him to just collar another sub and not tell me about it. Another Dom had changed his name for me (instead of the other way around). He was chronically ill and in and out of the hospital, so I wasn't surprised when a couple of weeks would go by and he wouldn't show up online. Then one night I was in a chat room and was checking out profiles of people. This one sub in the room had on her profile that my Dom was her Dom and the name that he had created for being with me, was now the name that he was using when with her. Needless to say, that "relationship" bewteen us ended right then and there.

After all of these online experiences I wasn't sure if I really wanted to be with a Master. And then I met my One. W/we hit it off right away and I knew then and there that I wanted to be with Him and no one else. He was in CA and I was in TN when W/we met online in December 1998. He moved to MI over that summer and when He came back online He declared His feelings for me, and I did the same for Him. W/we continued to chat online, through e-mail, through snail mail and on the phone until W/we met IRL in December 1999. And W/we've been together ever since.