when great plans go wrong!

[DIXIE LASS]

This isn't related to BDSM but it was a plan go wrong
I won't tell the age but I was still in high school
We live in a mountainous part of the country

He drove up a dirt road far away from everything
Our clothes came off and I climbed on his lap and started to ride his cock
Just as he was cumming someone knocked on the car's window

Some guy's car broke down several miles up the road
It was VERY COLD outside and he didn't have a jacket
While I was sitting on my boyfriend's lap with cum dripping out of me the guy asked if we would give him a ride into town

He turned his back while we got dressed and then we drove him to his house
My boyfriend had a funny smile on his face the whole time
While I tried to ignore everyone in the car

ROTFLMFAO! And I thought I was the only one who had shit like this happen. It's funny as hell now, isn't it MC.......but it sure wasn't funny then. (And my parents always found out.....every escapade I had.) This is hysterical. You should be a comedy writer.

DIXIE

[Matin]

lol thanks everyone! and since we got off topic a little i've got an allergy one too.

when i was a kid i lived on the east coast. swarms of mosquitos, it's horrible. anyway they've got this ointment called lanicane or something like that. it came in a tube or this handy-dandy aerosol spray can.

so one day when i got really badly bitten my old man comes in with the spray can and proceeds to quickly spray all the bug bites i've got; neck, arms, legs, hands, feet, stomach, chest, back...

typical summer day lol

turns out i'm allergic to the stuff.

it left little blisters like lye soap does to some people. i'm lucky i heal well.

back on the sexual misadventure track the first time i ever came on a girl's face she breathed in through her nose right when the cum hit, so she wound up inhaling it back into her sinus cavity. apparently it's a bit caustic lmfao

again, not funny at the time...

[SauvagePouline]

back on the sexual misadventure track the first time i ever came on a girl's face she breathed in through her nose right when the cum hit, so she wound up inhaling it back into her sinus cavity. apparently it's a bit caustic

omg... ow. that would turn me from face shots for a long long time. Regardless if i was the shooter or the shootee


ooooo I have one. It isn't mine, but a friend told it at a party last week, and myself and my bestbud S (the only people listening who knew anything about bj's) are scarred for life. So hehe, i'll pass it on.

So, we'll call her "A." A had a new boyfriend for sometime when she finally decided it was time to get a bit more intimate with him. So she decides she'll give him a blow job. She makes all her plans, and brings him home on the night, turns off the lights and slowly undresses him. She takes his cock in her mouth.

And feels this crumbly, cheese tasting sensation.

She spits it out, runs and turns the lights on and... He hadn't had a "gentleman's wash" for a week.
AND She went out with him for 2 more years after that.


-shudder- I don't think I will ever give a bj in the dark again after that story.

[Zarine13]

OMG Ewwwwwww!

[MissConfused]

This didn't happen to me but it DID happen to a friend of mine.
It isn't a sexual story but rather a story about someone trying to find a one night stand.
Let me warn you this story is rather gross

She went to a local nightclub by herself hunting for one thing only and that was to be fucked.
She had a LOT to drink trying to muster up her courage. While she was sitting at a table a gorgeous man came and sat next to her. She had found what she was searching for.

While they were talking she started to feel that she would vomit, remember she had had WAY TOO much to drink.
She didn't want to excuse herself for fear he would leave the table and she definitely did not want to vomit in front of him so she leaned forward and placed her elbow on the table and her hand in her chin forcing her to keep her mouth closed.
A wave of vomit came up but she was able to contain it in her mouth without the man noticing it.
She started to swallow the vomit back down * GROSS * thinking he would never notice she had thrown-up.
She started to swallow when a second wave of vomit came up!
Her mouth was full and she was physically holding her mouth shut so there was no where for the vomit to go.
So it shot out of her nose right into the guy's lap!

He left and she went to the restroom.

[DIXIE LASS]

omg ewwwwwww!

It sure is getting that way.

[MissConfused]

I'm sorry all
After thinking about it I probably shouldn't have posted that story
It is very gross

I hope I didn't upset anyone

[Zarine13]

I'm sorry all
After thinking about it I probably shouldn't have posted that story
It is very gross

I hope I didn't upset anyone

lol, I can't speak for everyone, but you didn't offend me, if I had been watching that I would have burst out laughing..

That makes me pretty screwed up huh?


Dixie, the vomiting isn't that bad to me lol, but man, the not washing.. Bleh!!

As for my embarrassing situation, I don't really have any with the exception of being interrupted by a cop, but that's been pretty much gone over already lol

[DIXIE LASS]

I'm sorry all
After thinking about it I probably shouldn't have posted that story
It is very gross

I hope I didn't upset anyone

MC, Don't apologize. The one about the guy with the broken down car more than makes up for it. Still lmao about that one.

On the "OMG!! GROSS!! PEEWWW!!" scale, it doesn't hold a candle to SauvagePouline's tale of "A" and that filthy, obscene, revolting cretin.

And hey, she shouldn't apologize either. That one certainly qualified as a "sexual misadventure"...........not to mention a nightmare. Almost makes you want to swear off sex......almost.

DIXIE

[MissConfused]

omg... ow. that would turn me from face shots for a long long time. Regardless if i was the shooter or the shootee


ooooo I have one. It isn't mine, but a friend told it at a party last week, and myself and my bestbud S (the only people listening who knew anything about bj's) are scarred for life. So hehe, i'll pass it on.

So, we'll call her "A." A had a new boyfriend for sometime when she finally decided it was time to get a bit more intimate with him. So she decides she'll give him a blow job. She makes all her plans, and brings him home on the night, turns off the lights and slowly undresses him. She takes his cock in her mouth.

And feels this crumbly, cheese tasting sensation.

She spits it out, runs and turns the lights on and... He hadn't had a "gentleman's wash" for a week.
AND She went out with him for 2 more years after that.


-shudder- I don't think I will ever give a bj in the dark again after that story.

Please don't think me a racist but I have heard men from Asian and Oriental countries do this on purpose
They want to degrade the woman by having her place a filthy penis in her mouth
They look at women like this as being whores and should be treated as such

Was the man involved of Asian/Oriental descent?

[Matin]

hooray comedy! and i'm drawing a blank but i'm gonna poll my friends for stories tonight.