Heard this wonderfully zany line on the commuter train yesterday, shows what can happen when you bring your grandchildren near a Christmas tree. A sixty-year old woman is sitting back to back with me - could gauge her age from her voice - and she's telling the man next seat how she took her kid grandson (must have been, and he'd have been something like six years old I surmise) to a Christmas market:

"...and he says to me: 'You should steal those pacifiers hanging in Santa's tree, pee on them and then put 'em back!". I had to haul him away from there fast, you know people were beginning to look hard at us."

With 'pacifiers' for the mouth the little imp must have meant brass bells or tinted globes hung in the Christmas tree.