That is a good point, brwneydgirl. I suppose I should have said it's important to us, because we do have a relationship and so how it is interpreted afterwards by us both is very important. It's different too because we've been in a relationship for a long time, so the level of trust is higher than for people just starting out. When things were new between us and there was a lot of "brake-slamming" going on (stopping in the middle of a session because something went wrong), we found it even more important to talk about what happened, why it happened, and most importantly, that it didn't change how we felt about each other (sex is delicious but it's not why I love you type of conversations).

I suppose for people who are just interested in playing around and not a serious commitment type of thing, aftercare would be less important. I certainly did less of it when I was with other subs whom I cared less about (those relationships never lasted very long, but boy were they hot).

I think that bonding phase is critical. We are sometimes engaged in activities that her mind can easily interpret as abuse on some level, after the fact.
I completely agree.