childhood signs of submissive tendencies

[Femme.100percent]

Well when I turned 8yrs old I learned 3 things. 1) how to masturbate 2) a strong desire to please the gurl I crushed on and the teacher I feared the most 3) I didnt like wearing clothes at home.

Strong desire to please(i'll start here first) my first crush was a girl name Michele. She had a twin sister and they were opposite. Michele was a tomboy. Her dad allowed her to be the son he never had and would buy her boy toys for christmas. She loved football and basketball. She would make me play sports with her although I wasnt good at it, I did it to please her. Whatever she wanted me to do. I would obey. We'd play doctor and of course I was the patient. She used to make me lie down while I would get my check up and thats when she would tie me up binding me with clothesline robe and touch me. I used to love secretly playing with her and would dream about our play time. One day my mother heard me moaning her name in my sleep. needless to say my mom started to be concerned about me spending so much time with Michele.
These dreams led to me masturbating in my 3rd grade class. I would rub my pelvis against the stationary desk thinking about being alone with Michele. I didnt know was masturbating at the time. It felt good and I started timing myself trying to beat the clock when our teacher would time us in math. The teacher was very mean and she would verbally abuse the students, and even punish them for misbahavior and I felt excited about her possibly catching me rubbing my pelvis while thinking about Michele touching me. I didnt want Ms hudson to be angry with me for not finishing my math problems in time so that excited me and terrified me at the same time. I wanted to please Ms hudson and would crave for her to give me praises for doing an outstanding job on how fast I would complete the math assignment. She didnt know I was working fast so I could masturbate before time was up thinking about Michele. Then I learned to race to an orgasm before test time was up for any subject. Yes I was bad girl, quiet, obedient, but always horny.
I used to take off my clothes as soon as I came home from school and walked around in my panties. Evey christmas picture I had a home was of me smiling with panties on while everyone else was fully dressed. Clothes had me feeling hot and restricted. My mom didnt mind and I never gave it much thought until my older sister pointed it out looking thru the photo album.
There are other crazy things I used to do and maybe I would share more, but I think I started having sub tendencies when I was 8yrs old. It began slow and soon escalated to much more

[mylittletahoe]

The only think i can think of in my childhood that may have showed that i have a sub side was i was allways the tomboy starting fights that i allways lost to allowing them to pin me down i enjoyed that. also around the age of 8 i was cought playing with myself nd was told by my mom and grandma that it was wrong, but before i gotcought i remeber liking the way it felt and tasted.but after i wastold it was wrong andyoung ladys don't do stuff like that i stopped and didn't start up again until 3 years ago and now i still feel guilty for useing a toy witch cause me to not have a release.
Then in the past few years i have felt like there is something missing in my life, when i have had sex over the years i like it rough but no one has been able to Satisfy my needs or give me a release. Now at 35 i have finally figuered out that i need more.. So being newto all this any and all help would be great

[Ceight]

There was a passage in Sweet Valley High, where Jessica, the naughty, sexy twin, "borrows" her days sports car and goes to a divvy bar and gets felt up by a scary guy. I, who was definitely more like the people-pleasing, boring, good twin, Elizabeth, read that passage over and over, imagining every smell and every sensation of that frightening moment, wishing I had the guts to go to some terrible place that that, but knowing I was too "good" to get into that situation.