Need Help!

[TomOfSweden]

I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years almost. She is very into BDSM, I've done what I can to satisfy that urge but she doesnt think its enough. Essentially she feels like I am acting and she says its not the same, she needs someone to actually feel the feelings associated with domination. I feel like I can do a good job but I need to know what this is all about mentally, I need a strong base understanding of domination. Can anyone help me? My relationship hinges on this.

Why don't you ask her? Does she know what she wants? Or is it just a vague feeling she has. If it is, then this might not really be her problem with you. The real problem may be much deeper.

But to go back to the original question. In my opinion being dominant is about bravery. Not being afraid to stick out and state your opinion. Not being afraid of failing. Not being afraid to listen to and take seriously opinions that might go against yours. Basically, being a good leader. The sex should follow quite naturaly from this.

[DrGeordie]

Why don't you ask her? Does she know what she wants? Or is it just a vague feeling she has. If it is, then this might not really be her problem with you. The real problem may be much deeper.

But to go back to the original question. In my opinion being dominant is about bravery. Not being afraid to stick out and state your opinion. Not being afraid of failing. Not being afraid to listen to and take seriously opinions that might go against yours. Basically, being a good leader. The sex should follow quite naturaly from this.

A very succinct way of putting it. That level of bravery requires a lot of confidence. It does take time to develop that confidence. At least I hope it does since I'm still working on it. TomOfSweden rightly points out that is important to first establish that she really understands what she wants. If you are both clear on this then your confidence in your actions derives from knowing that she wants you to do it.