Punish when upset

[wingsofanangel]

Never ever punish while angry... nope nope

and I must agree.. for me.. being ignored or seperated from my Dom was the worst. But it was also the most effective. I am very hands on.. clingy.. needy... type.. I need that attention.. and being seperated or cut off from it even for 5 minutes is torture.. it is diff. for every couple and they must find what works. I rarely ever ever had to be punished by Ocean... knowing he was disapointed in me was the worst.... gosh...

[Ozme52]

Never ever punish while angry... nope nope

and I must agree.. for me.. being ignored or seperated from my Dom was the worst. But it was also the most effective. I am very hands on.. clingy.. needy... type.. I need that attention.. and being seperated or cut off from it even for 5 minutes is torture.. it is diff. for every couple and they must find what works. I rarely ever ever had to be punished by Ocean... knowing he was disapointed in me was the worst.... gosh...

Go up a bit and read some of the older posts...

Are you including in this statement to never punish while angry, non-physical punishment such as separation? Verbal punishment?

[jeanne]

I'd rather get the punishment out of the way as soon as possible - the waiting is the worst. (And is perhaps part of the punishment? Hmmm, must think on that.) And I trust him to know if he's truly too angry to punish me at that very moment, and stop.

[Rhabbi]

I do not punish while upset, and that would include anything like a seperation or ignoring. But if I am truly mad I will need time to cool off, and I will say that in advance so that she knows what is happening. Afterwards I often detiremine that the cooling off preiod was more than enough to serve as punishment because of its effectiveness. She knows how upset I have to be to need time to cool off, and ultimately how disappointed I am in her.

Another drawback to not waitng until I cool off is that I might end up punishing her for being right, something that I have time to see if I allow myself to cool down.