Red flags for those new to the lifestyle

[thir]

But if differing opinions aren't welcome I can easily shut up.

I think first stage is to post such a red-flag list, stage two is to discuss it. It migh make many things clearer.

[lucy]

I think first stage is to post such a red-flag list, stage two is to discuss it. It migh make many things clearer.

I completely misunderstood VaAugusta's post. In the meantime he explained it to me and if I could I'd delete my last post.

If I had gone out mixing with the local BDSM-scene before I got to know my Master, I think I'd still be a (unhappy and certainly unsatisfied) vanilla. As a single girl I'd either have thought "oh noes! this's fucking predator central!" at the parties or else gotten comatose at one of the local munches.
So, yeah, I really hope the scene were you guys are is better

[thir]

I completely misunderstood VaAugusta's post. In the meantime he explained it to me and if I could I'd delete my last post.

Great when misunderstandings get cleared up :-) That is the good thing about this list, it usually happens rather than things blowing up.

If I had gone out mixing with the local BDSM-scene before I got to know my Master, I think I'd still be a (unhappy and certainly unsatisfied) vanilla. As a single girl I'd either have thought "oh noes! this's fucking predator central!" at the parties or else gotten comatose at one of the local munches.
So, yeah, I really hope the scene were you guys are is better

I am still a bit confused - is this what you have actually experienced, or is it rumour? I think it is a big shame if these munches and societies do not work, but I realize they can be really different from place to place.

When I started out, I just went to one that I heard about on the radio - and I was on my way :-)

[lucy]

Great when misunderstandings get cleared up :-) That is the good thing about this list, it usually happens rather than things blowing up.

The misunderstanding wasn't about this list.

I am still a bit confused - is this what you have actually experienced, or is it rumour? I think it is a big shame if these munches and societies do not work, but I realize they can be really different from place to place.

When I started out, I just went to one that I heard about on the radio - and I was on my way :-)

It's what I have experienced, once I (or we, rather) went out to the scene. Basically the people at the munches here are, well, to be honest, superboring. Also, there doesn't seem to be anybody below the age of 60 attending such a munch. I don't have a problem with older people, but sometimes it would be nice to discuss things with someone who's in about the same place in life as I am.
The parties, well, they were public ones. And badly managed, too. Still, if I hadn't known that they can be different, too, I would have thought that this is what a kink party has to be like. In the meantime we met a couple of good people who we occasionally see at private events. So, no more need to go to public parties and become wank fodder.

My biggest problem with this list: Methinks that people who are likely to make a bad choice are also very very very likely to jump in without thinking or gathering knowledge first. I.e., they will see this list only when it's too late.
Also, it is one more step for people to not take responsibility for themselves.
Plus, it will be misunderstood. There will be people ticking off the numbers on the list and they will forget to use for themselves a little bit more.

One of the things I like about this site over others is that it doesn't promote that kind of thinking (or lack there of) and I would like to thank them as well as the OP and others (I know you know who you are) for taking the time to remind people to keep a hold of that common sence and put safety first over kink.

Sometimes, when I look at the personals here, my skin begins to crawl and cold shivers run up and down my spine. Maybe moderating them wouldn't be such a bad idea, too.